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25 Temmuz 2022, 01:52
Author's Note: This story is a collaboration with my friend Jim (MojaveJoe420). We both contributed equally to its content and we hope you enjoy it.
We'd also like to thank Harvey for his editing expertise.
Tag: The end of an era ... and another new beginning.
- - - - -
One Year Later
Snoop Dogg purposely fumbled with the envelope. "What kinda glue they usin' here? This thing is tighter than Madi Valentine's pussy. Ya know what I'm sayin'?"
That got a big laugh from the crowd. He finally ripped open the envelope. "Huh?" Snoop seemed confused. He then turned it around. "Wait a minute." Then turned it around again, making the audience laugh.
"I think I got it now... okay, here it is, the AVN Award for Best Film goes to... well, it's no fuckin' surprise ... completin' the clean sweepin' is Angel of the Morning, produced by Atticus Davis and Madi Valentine!"
Atticus squeezed my hand as we rose out of our seats to the standing ovation. I was nervous going up there. I figured the crowd was tired of seeing me up on the stage; this was the fifth award of the night for me.
Snoop and his sexy assistant handed us our awards. "You keep coming up here, girl! You coulda axed me out the first time, ya know? You got my digits, girl, get that phone out and use it!"
I laughed and he gave me a big hug. Atticus held out his hand toward the microphone. We had talked about this before; he didn't want to speak, he wanted me to do the talking in the event that our film won.
"Hello again, everyone. I'm almost sorry to be up here ... again ... but not really!" That got a pretty good laugh.
"Thank you so much to AVN and to everyone for recognizing this film this year. It's been a labor of love for over two years for the both of us. I would especially like to thank the writing team of Melanie and Jim from the website Literotica.com for letting us adapt their original story. Guys, thank you!" The cameras highlighted them at my table for a few seconds; they looked embarrassed at the attention but waved graciously.
"Atticus and I would also like to thank everyone involved in the project. We like to think that this wasn't just another porn film, and it seems like you folks have seen it for what it was, a love story. Because that's what the world needs, that's what we all want, to love; and to be loved." That got a very nice round of applause.
"Finally, I would like to thank my partner, my manager, and my best friend, but not my lover! Atticus Davis!"
We hugged and he kissed me on the cheek. Then he really surprised me by stepping up to the mic. "Thank you, I have two things to say. First, Madi Valentine is indeed the best person I've ever met in my whole life. I'm supremely grateful for her trust in me over these three years. Guiding her career has been the greatest joy of my life." I started crying when he said that.
"And secondly, let's not forget our lovely friends who are no longer with us. Shyla Stylez, August Ames, Olivia Lua, Olivia Nova, and Yurizan Beltran. This is a tough business, no doubt. But let's support each other, and take care of each other. We can do better. We can all do better. Thank you."
And with that, a thunderous applause exploded through the massive Hard Rock ballroom. The whirlwind continued as I was swarmed by members of the press for photos and interviews. One of the AVN handlers wrangled us to the back where the Huffington Post was interviewing the winners.
"Congrats on your win. What do you have to say to those people who say Angel of the Morning is just Pretty Woman re-done for porn?"
Oh, great! My first question is someone trying to bring me down! Be nice! "Well, this is a love story, and Pretty Woman was a love story, too. But there are a lot of love stories, so are we re-doing all of them? Maybe, in a sense, but we felt this one had a real message under the surface. We wanted our characters not just to fall in love, but to also show that we need love in all aspects of our lives."
"Is it true that Netflix is going to place this movie on their platform?"
How did this guy know this? We've only been in negotiations with Netflix for a week! Somebody wasn't honoring the Non-Disclosure Agreement we all signed. "We're very much open to presenting our film on mainstream-media platforms. Of course, it would have to be edited down to take out the most graphic shots, but we filmed it in such a way that we can easily do some re-editing so that it won't take much away from the end-product."
"Is Angel of the Morning basically your autobiography?"
"Well, the original story came from Melanie and Jim, not me, so ... no."
"Okay, right," the reporter continued. "But is it biographical in nature, of you?"
I smiled to keep from sighing. "Well, the character in the movie falls in love and quits the business. I'm not in love, and I'm not quitting the business."
"Have güvenilir bahis (http://www.hemeteam.com/) you ever been in love? What about you and Atticus, are you two an item?"
Lord, these questions are moronic! I just said, ten minutes ago on stage, that Atticus was not my lover. "Atticus is an amazing man, we've done wonderful things together ... as business partners. That's what we are. And yes, I have been in love and I hope to fall in love again. Thank you."
At my dismissal of that reporter, ten others shouted questions at me. For the next 90 minutes I was peppered with questions by reporters from legitimate agencies and also by fans with their own handheld cameras. Unlike other Hollywood award shows, fans were allowed to attend the AVNs.
I attended the after-party with Atticus, it was expected of major-category winners. It was weird not having Joey there with me, but his drinking got the better of him. When, a few months ago, he woke up in a back alley in Phoenix with no recollection of how he got there, he decided to make some changes and he went back home. I did actually have fun mixing with my other industry friends, and it was great getting to meet some of my mega-fans again. Despite the offers of undying love from several of them, I eventually made it back to my luxury suite atop the Hard Rock Hotel, alone.
Alone.
I looked out over the sparkling lights of the Las Vegas Strip. Even at four in the morning, the lights never went off, or even dimmed. Sigh.
I saw that a text had arrived several hours ago on my phone. It was from Danielle:
Congrats on your awards but especially Best Picture! It's undoubtedly the best porn ever made and should be nominated for the Oscars! Hope you're well, lotsa love, D
Okay, it's seven in the morning back east, maybe she is up? I texted her. Hey girl u up? About 30 seconds later my phone began to vibrate and I answered the call. "Hey, Danielle, how are you?"
"I'm doing great, honey. I just got off the treadmill and I'm dripping with sweat."
"Well, even when you were stinky, you still looked beautiful."
"Awww, thank you. Congratulations on your big night! I mean, Performer of the Year? That's so amazing!"
"Well, you know, I think they felt sorry for me or something."
"Oh, stop it," she protested, then laughed. "And congrats again on your movie! I know you worked so hard on it, I'm so proud of you and Atticus."
"Thank you, he misses you but he won't admit it."
She giggled. "I miss him too, but I'd never admit that to him either."
"I'll keep that to myself, then. How's everything at Goldman Sachs? They still keeping you busy?"
"Twelve-hour days, girl, they work me like a dog."
"Yeah, but I bet you love it, right?"
"Yeah, I do. It's the best job I've ever had."
There were a few seconds of comfortable silence. "So, how's that pretty wife of yours doing?" I asked.
"She got a promotion to junior partner, give her five more years and she'll be running the entire law firm."
"Tell her congrats for me, okay?"
"I will, she misses you, Jenna. At least once a month she asks me when you're coming to see us."
I hadn't seen Danielle and Amy for about a year, when I attended their wedding in The Hamptons. She looked so beautiful in her white wedding dress and I'd never seen her so happy. "I'll try to pencil it in, okay?"
She laughed. "Yeah, right. I won't hold my breath." There were a few more seconds of silence. "Oh my God, girl, huge news I need to tell you."
"Yeah, what's up?"
"We're going to have a baby in five months! We've got a surrogate mother and everything."
Tears were now filling my eyes. "You're going to be a mother?"
"I am, honey. Amy is so excited."
"I'm so happy for both of you, it's what you've always wanted." She'd always wanted a baby, and for the longest time-- I'd thought it would be with me. She'd moved on with her life and there were many times that I felt like I was still stuck in the past, our past.
"There's something else I want, Jenna. I want you at her Christening, I want you to be her godmother."
Tears were now streaming down my face, and I struggled to pull myself together and get my emotions in check. "It would be my honor, honey."
"And none of this penciling in bullshit. I want you there and I'm serious."
"Keep me up to date, okay? I'll drop whatever I have to and I'll be there, I swear that to you," I said seriously.
"Thank you, it means a lot to me."
"Of course."
There were a few more seconds of silence. "How are you? How are you really?" she asked.
I sighed, wondering how much to tell her. "I'm tired, Danielle. This project has taken everything out of me," I admitted.
"You looked a little ... sad ... up on the stage, honey."
Shit. I looked sad? Nobody else had said that, so I hoped it was something only someone with intimate knowledge of me would güvenilir bahis siteleri (http://www.hemeteam.com/) have picked up. "It's just the stress, I promise."
"Come to New York, spend some time with us. You know you're always welcome here, and you can stay as long as you want."
"I know, girl, and if I can find the time, I will." I heard a deep sigh on the other end of the line. I wouldn't be going to New York until they had their baby, and we both knew it.
"I gotta hit the shower, honey, or I'm going to be late for work. Take care of yourself, Jenna, I love you."
"I love you too, Danielle, and give my love to Amy. Bye-bye for now."
She did love me, but not in the way that she used to, and not in the way I needed. She was my friend now, my best friend, but still only a friend. Our break-up was very difficult for both of us, we both suffered a lot of hurt, but somehow we'd managed to stay close even though we lived on different sides of the country. Much of the time, it felt like she was the only good thing in my life. She was still managing my personal finances, and she'd done very well for me.
Truth be told, I missed her a great deal, but I missed that feeling of being in love, being loved, even more. I'd had some flings since her, and some fuck buddies ... but nothing of substance.
Exhaustion began to overtake worry, and I soon fell asleep.
- - - - -
"We've got to strike while the iron is hot, Jenna."
It was only three days after the AVN awards and Atticus and I were back in his office in Hollywood. Things weren't going all that well ...
"Is that some old-man expression? What's it even mean? What am I supposed to strike, and why would I use a hot iron?" I was exasperated with my beloved manager and business partner.
He smiled, and I could see the wheels turning in his head as he mulled over possible ways to handle me. This wasn't our first spat, of course, but I wasn't just being a little bitchy for no reason. He tried again. "We've got to make hay while the sun is shining."
Is he trying to be funny with these old sayings? I hate clichés, especially when I don't know what they mean. "'While the sun is shining?' ... it's fuckin' raining, boss."
"Jenna, come on. This isn't new, you know this. Being a big winner like you are means everyone wants you,-- and they want you now, and they are willing to pay big, big bucks."
He was right, I did know this. But that didn't mean I was happy about it.
Fuck, I just need a break.
I drew in a big breath and made a heavy sigh. "What've you got in mind, chief?"
"Two shoots per week for the next six weeks."
"Jesus fucking Christ, Atticus."
"You'll earn $124,000, all told."
Damn ... okay. That's a lot of money. Hmmm.
Danielle put the five-million-dollar figure in my head when I first started, saying I could probably earn that in six or seven years and I wouldn't have to work another day in my life. That figure stuck with me and had been my goal ever since. Only, it looked like I was going to do it in maybe five or five-and-a-half years.
"A hundred and twenty-four? No bullshit?"
"No bullshit. And you'll be working with some top names, too. Gianna Michaels is coming out of retirement to shoot with you."
"Really! Huh, how's she look these days?"
"She looks great, I promise. That'll be a threesome with Ava Devine."
Both of those gals are probably older than my own mother. "So lemme guess, Mother and Aunt and her horny daughter?"
Atticus smiled and gave me a look of fake stunned amazement. "How did you know?"
"Just a shot in the dark. What else?"
"Oh let's see, Pool boy ... Daddy and brother and two sisters ... Big Tit Lesbians 17 ... Big Tit Coeds 4 ... Big Tit and Big Ass Slutbags--"
"What the hell is a slutbag? Jesus, Atticus. What's with this bullshit?"
"Hey, it's the first edition of a planned 14-part Slutbag series."
"Oh, well when you say it like that it sounds much better." My sarcasm was really on-point today.
"Shall I keep reading? Or do you just want to hear about the first one."
"Whatever, yeah. Just have what's-her-face update my calendar. And tell her to get the right fucking zip codes this time? Remember last month where she put my ass on Centinela Avenue in ... some shit-hole in Inglewood when I was supposed to be in Santa Monica? When are you going to get a competent assistant, anyway?" I'd lost count of how many assistants he'd gone through after Danielle quit. His new one was pretty, but she was so stupid that when I overheard one of her co-workers tell her to go to hell, I think she was actually excited to start the trip.
Atticus smiled at me, like a father would at his recalcitrant daughter whom he loves dearly but wishes she would straighten up and fly right. "And the grand finale, the pièce de résistance ..."
"Omigod, just come out with it already," I squeaked.
"Ummm iddaa siteleri (http://www.hemeteam.com/) ... okay." He paused for a moment in reflection. "You've really cranked up your snark abilities today, Jenna." He paused for a moment. "I have a feeling that Aunt Flo is in town, huh?"
"Don't even go there, and I swear to God, in two seconds I'm going to stand up and walk out of here." I wouldn't actually do that, but it was fun to mess with him, and he was getting on my nerves just a little.
"Okay, okay ... I know you'll like this, though. Reality Kings wants to shoot in Turks and Caicos," he said enticingly. "You'll be there for a week."
My eyes widened. "Damn ... really?"
Shit! I hadn't wanted to make even a micro-expression to let Atticus know how I felt about that. I didn't want him getting any satisfaction from me. But damn, the Caribbean. The man did know me well.
"Really, and you'll be shooting with your friend Dirk McKinley."
My elation dulled somewhat. "So ... you're making me take on Dirk ... again. You need to ... you know ... get me hazard pay or something for agreeing to this."
"You won't be taking him on alone, as you put it. They want to shoot a threesome."
"It'll be nice to have a little help wrangling that fuck-truck between his legs. Who's the girl? Wait! It is a girl, right? I don't need two huge cocks right now."
"Yes, it's a girl. Lexi Sapphire."
I thought for a moment. "I've... I've never heard of her."
"She just signed with us, I had to push Reality Kings really hard to get them to agree to her." He paused and a timid look broke over his face. I had a feeling that whatever was going to come out of his mouth next wasn't going to be something that I would like. "They wanted you, of course, and I told them it was a package deal ... no you without agreeing to her."
I cut my eyes at him. "What the hell, Atticus. What's wrong with her? Why are they so hesitant to let her shoot this scene?"
He was squirming just a bit in his chair now. "I told you I just signed her, this will be her first shoot."
"A newbie? You've got to be kidding me. Her first scene will be with a ten-inch monster cock? Do you hate her or something?"
"Hey, now. Your first shoot with Dirk was only your third scene and you survived just fine."
"Yeah, you fucked up then and you're fucking up now." Then, the realization hit me. "They want anal, don't they?"
"Yeah, they do, from both of you."
"And she agreed to that?"
"Yes, she did. She's hungry, Jenna, she wants to make her mark in the industry, just like you did."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, Atticus. Just make sure she knows what she's in for. You'd better tell her what this is about and at least give her a chance to change her mind."
"I couldn't talk her out of it if I tried."
This reminded me of an old porn legend. It was said that Remy Lacroix's first scene was with Kink.com, a bound gang-bang. I'd never met Remy to ask her if it was true because she'd left the business before I got into it, but Atticus assured me that it was. Surely Lexi agreeing to an anal scene with Dirk would be akin to that. As long as she knew what she was in for, I guess it was on her.
"So, a week in Turks and Caicos?
"Yup, a full week. Two shoots. The second is ... Big Tits in Paradise, I think. Or is it ... Big Tit Summer? I forget, but it's you and six other women, kind of like an all-girl orgy, something along those lines."
Thank God, the second shoot would be easy. Dirk was always a lot to handle and I needed some recovery time after a shoot with him.
"And the days between shoots?"
"Five days, Jenna. Five days in the Caribbean to do as you please."
I tapped my fingers on the desk. "First class, of course."
"Of course. Just don't get sunburned before the second shoot."
I looked out the window at dreary old L.A., swamped in the middle of a three-day rainstorm. And another cold front was moving in after that. The prospect of some hot sandy beach where nobody knew me and I could get some peace and quiet sounded pretty damn good.
"Well, you could have done worse, sure enough. Alright, Atticus. You've got me all pumped up now. I can't wait to go fuck some strangers for money."
"That's my girl," he said with a wink and a smile.
- - - - -
The gate area for the flight to Miami was sparsely populated, but I had given the counter girl my phone number and she texted me in the first-class lounge a few minutes before boarding began, so when I walked up they had just begun boarding first class. Perfect, I didn't have to sit out here in public and risk getting recognized.
I was dressed in Miami camouflage: Minnie Mouse sweatshirt, pink hat, sunglasses, and some rather loose-fitting beach pants, so the chances of me getting noticed were pretty slim. I made it to my seat with no issues except a bit of an overlong stare from the attractive flight attendant. This was a first, I was the only one seated in first class.
"May I get you some champagne or a cocktail before takeoff, Miss Erickson?" Her name tag read Shawna, and she gave me a very sweet smile.
We'd also like to thank Harvey for his editing expertise.
Tag: The end of an era ... and another new beginning.
- - - - -
One Year Later
Snoop Dogg purposely fumbled with the envelope. "What kinda glue they usin' here? This thing is tighter than Madi Valentine's pussy. Ya know what I'm sayin'?"
That got a big laugh from the crowd. He finally ripped open the envelope. "Huh?" Snoop seemed confused. He then turned it around. "Wait a minute." Then turned it around again, making the audience laugh.
"I think I got it now... okay, here it is, the AVN Award for Best Film goes to... well, it's no fuckin' surprise ... completin' the clean sweepin' is Angel of the Morning, produced by Atticus Davis and Madi Valentine!"
Atticus squeezed my hand as we rose out of our seats to the standing ovation. I was nervous going up there. I figured the crowd was tired of seeing me up on the stage; this was the fifth award of the night for me.
Snoop and his sexy assistant handed us our awards. "You keep coming up here, girl! You coulda axed me out the first time, ya know? You got my digits, girl, get that phone out and use it!"
I laughed and he gave me a big hug. Atticus held out his hand toward the microphone. We had talked about this before; he didn't want to speak, he wanted me to do the talking in the event that our film won.
"Hello again, everyone. I'm almost sorry to be up here ... again ... but not really!" That got a pretty good laugh.
"Thank you so much to AVN and to everyone for recognizing this film this year. It's been a labor of love for over two years for the both of us. I would especially like to thank the writing team of Melanie and Jim from the website Literotica.com for letting us adapt their original story. Guys, thank you!" The cameras highlighted them at my table for a few seconds; they looked embarrassed at the attention but waved graciously.
"Atticus and I would also like to thank everyone involved in the project. We like to think that this wasn't just another porn film, and it seems like you folks have seen it for what it was, a love story. Because that's what the world needs, that's what we all want, to love; and to be loved." That got a very nice round of applause.
"Finally, I would like to thank my partner, my manager, and my best friend, but not my lover! Atticus Davis!"
We hugged and he kissed me on the cheek. Then he really surprised me by stepping up to the mic. "Thank you, I have two things to say. First, Madi Valentine is indeed the best person I've ever met in my whole life. I'm supremely grateful for her trust in me over these three years. Guiding her career has been the greatest joy of my life." I started crying when he said that.
"And secondly, let's not forget our lovely friends who are no longer with us. Shyla Stylez, August Ames, Olivia Lua, Olivia Nova, and Yurizan Beltran. This is a tough business, no doubt. But let's support each other, and take care of each other. We can do better. We can all do better. Thank you."
And with that, a thunderous applause exploded through the massive Hard Rock ballroom. The whirlwind continued as I was swarmed by members of the press for photos and interviews. One of the AVN handlers wrangled us to the back where the Huffington Post was interviewing the winners.
"Congrats on your win. What do you have to say to those people who say Angel of the Morning is just Pretty Woman re-done for porn?"
Oh, great! My first question is someone trying to bring me down! Be nice! "Well, this is a love story, and Pretty Woman was a love story, too. But there are a lot of love stories, so are we re-doing all of them? Maybe, in a sense, but we felt this one had a real message under the surface. We wanted our characters not just to fall in love, but to also show that we need love in all aspects of our lives."
"Is it true that Netflix is going to place this movie on their platform?"
How did this guy know this? We've only been in negotiations with Netflix for a week! Somebody wasn't honoring the Non-Disclosure Agreement we all signed. "We're very much open to presenting our film on mainstream-media platforms. Of course, it would have to be edited down to take out the most graphic shots, but we filmed it in such a way that we can easily do some re-editing so that it won't take much away from the end-product."
"Is Angel of the Morning basically your autobiography?"
"Well, the original story came from Melanie and Jim, not me, so ... no."
"Okay, right," the reporter continued. "But is it biographical in nature, of you?"
I smiled to keep from sighing. "Well, the character in the movie falls in love and quits the business. I'm not in love, and I'm not quitting the business."
"Have güvenilir bahis (http://www.hemeteam.com/) you ever been in love? What about you and Atticus, are you two an item?"
Lord, these questions are moronic! I just said, ten minutes ago on stage, that Atticus was not my lover. "Atticus is an amazing man, we've done wonderful things together ... as business partners. That's what we are. And yes, I have been in love and I hope to fall in love again. Thank you."
At my dismissal of that reporter, ten others shouted questions at me. For the next 90 minutes I was peppered with questions by reporters from legitimate agencies and also by fans with their own handheld cameras. Unlike other Hollywood award shows, fans were allowed to attend the AVNs.
I attended the after-party with Atticus, it was expected of major-category winners. It was weird not having Joey there with me, but his drinking got the better of him. When, a few months ago, he woke up in a back alley in Phoenix with no recollection of how he got there, he decided to make some changes and he went back home. I did actually have fun mixing with my other industry friends, and it was great getting to meet some of my mega-fans again. Despite the offers of undying love from several of them, I eventually made it back to my luxury suite atop the Hard Rock Hotel, alone.
Alone.
I looked out over the sparkling lights of the Las Vegas Strip. Even at four in the morning, the lights never went off, or even dimmed. Sigh.
I saw that a text had arrived several hours ago on my phone. It was from Danielle:
Congrats on your awards but especially Best Picture! It's undoubtedly the best porn ever made and should be nominated for the Oscars! Hope you're well, lotsa love, D
Okay, it's seven in the morning back east, maybe she is up? I texted her. Hey girl u up? About 30 seconds later my phone began to vibrate and I answered the call. "Hey, Danielle, how are you?"
"I'm doing great, honey. I just got off the treadmill and I'm dripping with sweat."
"Well, even when you were stinky, you still looked beautiful."
"Awww, thank you. Congratulations on your big night! I mean, Performer of the Year? That's so amazing!"
"Well, you know, I think they felt sorry for me or something."
"Oh, stop it," she protested, then laughed. "And congrats again on your movie! I know you worked so hard on it, I'm so proud of you and Atticus."
"Thank you, he misses you but he won't admit it."
She giggled. "I miss him too, but I'd never admit that to him either."
"I'll keep that to myself, then. How's everything at Goldman Sachs? They still keeping you busy?"
"Twelve-hour days, girl, they work me like a dog."
"Yeah, but I bet you love it, right?"
"Yeah, I do. It's the best job I've ever had."
There were a few seconds of comfortable silence. "So, how's that pretty wife of yours doing?" I asked.
"She got a promotion to junior partner, give her five more years and she'll be running the entire law firm."
"Tell her congrats for me, okay?"
"I will, she misses you, Jenna. At least once a month she asks me when you're coming to see us."
I hadn't seen Danielle and Amy for about a year, when I attended their wedding in The Hamptons. She looked so beautiful in her white wedding dress and I'd never seen her so happy. "I'll try to pencil it in, okay?"
She laughed. "Yeah, right. I won't hold my breath." There were a few more seconds of silence. "Oh my God, girl, huge news I need to tell you."
"Yeah, what's up?"
"We're going to have a baby in five months! We've got a surrogate mother and everything."
Tears were now filling my eyes. "You're going to be a mother?"
"I am, honey. Amy is so excited."
"I'm so happy for both of you, it's what you've always wanted." She'd always wanted a baby, and for the longest time-- I'd thought it would be with me. She'd moved on with her life and there were many times that I felt like I was still stuck in the past, our past.
"There's something else I want, Jenna. I want you at her Christening, I want you to be her godmother."
Tears were now streaming down my face, and I struggled to pull myself together and get my emotions in check. "It would be my honor, honey."
"And none of this penciling in bullshit. I want you there and I'm serious."
"Keep me up to date, okay? I'll drop whatever I have to and I'll be there, I swear that to you," I said seriously.
"Thank you, it means a lot to me."
"Of course."
There were a few more seconds of silence. "How are you? How are you really?" she asked.
I sighed, wondering how much to tell her. "I'm tired, Danielle. This project has taken everything out of me," I admitted.
"You looked a little ... sad ... up on the stage, honey."
Shit. I looked sad? Nobody else had said that, so I hoped it was something only someone with intimate knowledge of me would güvenilir bahis siteleri (http://www.hemeteam.com/) have picked up. "It's just the stress, I promise."
"Come to New York, spend some time with us. You know you're always welcome here, and you can stay as long as you want."
"I know, girl, and if I can find the time, I will." I heard a deep sigh on the other end of the line. I wouldn't be going to New York until they had their baby, and we both knew it.
"I gotta hit the shower, honey, or I'm going to be late for work. Take care of yourself, Jenna, I love you."
"I love you too, Danielle, and give my love to Amy. Bye-bye for now."
She did love me, but not in the way that she used to, and not in the way I needed. She was my friend now, my best friend, but still only a friend. Our break-up was very difficult for both of us, we both suffered a lot of hurt, but somehow we'd managed to stay close even though we lived on different sides of the country. Much of the time, it felt like she was the only good thing in my life. She was still managing my personal finances, and she'd done very well for me.
Truth be told, I missed her a great deal, but I missed that feeling of being in love, being loved, even more. I'd had some flings since her, and some fuck buddies ... but nothing of substance.
Exhaustion began to overtake worry, and I soon fell asleep.
- - - - -
"We've got to strike while the iron is hot, Jenna."
It was only three days after the AVN awards and Atticus and I were back in his office in Hollywood. Things weren't going all that well ...
"Is that some old-man expression? What's it even mean? What am I supposed to strike, and why would I use a hot iron?" I was exasperated with my beloved manager and business partner.
He smiled, and I could see the wheels turning in his head as he mulled over possible ways to handle me. This wasn't our first spat, of course, but I wasn't just being a little bitchy for no reason. He tried again. "We've got to make hay while the sun is shining."
Is he trying to be funny with these old sayings? I hate clichés, especially when I don't know what they mean. "'While the sun is shining?' ... it's fuckin' raining, boss."
"Jenna, come on. This isn't new, you know this. Being a big winner like you are means everyone wants you,-- and they want you now, and they are willing to pay big, big bucks."
He was right, I did know this. But that didn't mean I was happy about it.
Fuck, I just need a break.
I drew in a big breath and made a heavy sigh. "What've you got in mind, chief?"
"Two shoots per week for the next six weeks."
"Jesus fucking Christ, Atticus."
"You'll earn $124,000, all told."
Damn ... okay. That's a lot of money. Hmmm.
Danielle put the five-million-dollar figure in my head when I first started, saying I could probably earn that in six or seven years and I wouldn't have to work another day in my life. That figure stuck with me and had been my goal ever since. Only, it looked like I was going to do it in maybe five or five-and-a-half years.
"A hundred and twenty-four? No bullshit?"
"No bullshit. And you'll be working with some top names, too. Gianna Michaels is coming out of retirement to shoot with you."
"Really! Huh, how's she look these days?"
"She looks great, I promise. That'll be a threesome with Ava Devine."
Both of those gals are probably older than my own mother. "So lemme guess, Mother and Aunt and her horny daughter?"
Atticus smiled and gave me a look of fake stunned amazement. "How did you know?"
"Just a shot in the dark. What else?"
"Oh let's see, Pool boy ... Daddy and brother and two sisters ... Big Tit Lesbians 17 ... Big Tit Coeds 4 ... Big Tit and Big Ass Slutbags--"
"What the hell is a slutbag? Jesus, Atticus. What's with this bullshit?"
"Hey, it's the first edition of a planned 14-part Slutbag series."
"Oh, well when you say it like that it sounds much better." My sarcasm was really on-point today.
"Shall I keep reading? Or do you just want to hear about the first one."
"Whatever, yeah. Just have what's-her-face update my calendar. And tell her to get the right fucking zip codes this time? Remember last month where she put my ass on Centinela Avenue in ... some shit-hole in Inglewood when I was supposed to be in Santa Monica? When are you going to get a competent assistant, anyway?" I'd lost count of how many assistants he'd gone through after Danielle quit. His new one was pretty, but she was so stupid that when I overheard one of her co-workers tell her to go to hell, I think she was actually excited to start the trip.
Atticus smiled at me, like a father would at his recalcitrant daughter whom he loves dearly but wishes she would straighten up and fly right. "And the grand finale, the pièce de résistance ..."
"Omigod, just come out with it already," I squeaked.
"Ummm iddaa siteleri (http://www.hemeteam.com/) ... okay." He paused for a moment in reflection. "You've really cranked up your snark abilities today, Jenna." He paused for a moment. "I have a feeling that Aunt Flo is in town, huh?"
"Don't even go there, and I swear to God, in two seconds I'm going to stand up and walk out of here." I wouldn't actually do that, but it was fun to mess with him, and he was getting on my nerves just a little.
"Okay, okay ... I know you'll like this, though. Reality Kings wants to shoot in Turks and Caicos," he said enticingly. "You'll be there for a week."
My eyes widened. "Damn ... really?"
Shit! I hadn't wanted to make even a micro-expression to let Atticus know how I felt about that. I didn't want him getting any satisfaction from me. But damn, the Caribbean. The man did know me well.
"Really, and you'll be shooting with your friend Dirk McKinley."
My elation dulled somewhat. "So ... you're making me take on Dirk ... again. You need to ... you know ... get me hazard pay or something for agreeing to this."
"You won't be taking him on alone, as you put it. They want to shoot a threesome."
"It'll be nice to have a little help wrangling that fuck-truck between his legs. Who's the girl? Wait! It is a girl, right? I don't need two huge cocks right now."
"Yes, it's a girl. Lexi Sapphire."
I thought for a moment. "I've... I've never heard of her."
"She just signed with us, I had to push Reality Kings really hard to get them to agree to her." He paused and a timid look broke over his face. I had a feeling that whatever was going to come out of his mouth next wasn't going to be something that I would like. "They wanted you, of course, and I told them it was a package deal ... no you without agreeing to her."
I cut my eyes at him. "What the hell, Atticus. What's wrong with her? Why are they so hesitant to let her shoot this scene?"
He was squirming just a bit in his chair now. "I told you I just signed her, this will be her first shoot."
"A newbie? You've got to be kidding me. Her first scene will be with a ten-inch monster cock? Do you hate her or something?"
"Hey, now. Your first shoot with Dirk was only your third scene and you survived just fine."
"Yeah, you fucked up then and you're fucking up now." Then, the realization hit me. "They want anal, don't they?"
"Yeah, they do, from both of you."
"And she agreed to that?"
"Yes, she did. She's hungry, Jenna, she wants to make her mark in the industry, just like you did."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, Atticus. Just make sure she knows what she's in for. You'd better tell her what this is about and at least give her a chance to change her mind."
"I couldn't talk her out of it if I tried."
This reminded me of an old porn legend. It was said that Remy Lacroix's first scene was with Kink.com, a bound gang-bang. I'd never met Remy to ask her if it was true because she'd left the business before I got into it, but Atticus assured me that it was. Surely Lexi agreeing to an anal scene with Dirk would be akin to that. As long as she knew what she was in for, I guess it was on her.
"So, a week in Turks and Caicos?
"Yup, a full week. Two shoots. The second is ... Big Tits in Paradise, I think. Or is it ... Big Tit Summer? I forget, but it's you and six other women, kind of like an all-girl orgy, something along those lines."
Thank God, the second shoot would be easy. Dirk was always a lot to handle and I needed some recovery time after a shoot with him.
"And the days between shoots?"
"Five days, Jenna. Five days in the Caribbean to do as you please."
I tapped my fingers on the desk. "First class, of course."
"Of course. Just don't get sunburned before the second shoot."
I looked out the window at dreary old L.A., swamped in the middle of a three-day rainstorm. And another cold front was moving in after that. The prospect of some hot sandy beach where nobody knew me and I could get some peace and quiet sounded pretty damn good.
"Well, you could have done worse, sure enough. Alright, Atticus. You've got me all pumped up now. I can't wait to go fuck some strangers for money."
"That's my girl," he said with a wink and a smile.
- - - - -
The gate area for the flight to Miami was sparsely populated, but I had given the counter girl my phone number and she texted me in the first-class lounge a few minutes before boarding began, so when I walked up they had just begun boarding first class. Perfect, I didn't have to sit out here in public and risk getting recognized.
I was dressed in Miami camouflage: Minnie Mouse sweatshirt, pink hat, sunglasses, and some rather loose-fitting beach pants, so the chances of me getting noticed were pretty slim. I made it to my seat with no issues except a bit of an overlong stare from the attractive flight attendant. This was a first, I was the only one seated in first class.
"May I get you some champagne or a cocktail before takeoff, Miss Erickson?" Her name tag read Shawna, and she gave me a very sweet smile.